Position 04

The Steak-Backed Economy

Monetary policy will be denominated in a unit every American understands: most of a ribeye.

The staff tells me interest rates are expressed in basis points. I asked what a basis point tastes like. They are still preparing an answer.

Under my administration, the national conversation about money will be conducted in steak. A quarter-point cut is most of a ribeye. Inflation is when the ribeye gets smaller and nobody says anything. Every American will be able to look at a plate and know exactly how the economy is doing.

The Federal Reserve will keep its building. It will simply be required to hold its meetings over dinner.

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